The bats were busy yesterday

My first 911 call was just before 10 am. On the other end of the phone is a gruff voice wanting an ambulance

Caller: Send me the ambulance. I've got high blood pressure and I want to go to the hospital!

Me: Ok, sir. Are you experiencing any other symptoms?

Caller: NO! ...then yells his address at me

Me: Do you have a medical history?

Caller: Just send me the ambulance!! ...yells his address at me again

Me: I am starting to get agitated now but try to keep my voice steady... So the only problem you're having right now is high blood pressure?

Caller: I want to go to the hospital!! ...yells his address at me again

Me: I decide to end the call before I get too aggravated... I advise him to have any medication he is on ready because the he will need to take it with him.

In my frustration I forgot to send the 911 fax to EMS. They phoned over for the address again and I told them that this guy was being a real jerk. Once the life squad got this guy to the hospital they called for their times on the run.
The EMT told me that as they approached the house the man walked out the front door...

Patient: Come on, let's go!

EMT: Let's go back in the house so I can get your vitals first.

Patient: I just want you to take me to the hospital. Let's go!

I just laughed and said "See, I told you he was being a jerk"

My second 911 call came right at noon

Caller: I need you to send a police officer over here

Me: Can you tell me a little about whats going on? ...from the sound of her voice it sounded like it was going to be a bs call....I expected her to go on about some boyfriend/girlfriend issue... I was wrong!!!

Caller: suddenly agitated... Well, I'm tired of all the BS going on over here!

Me: afraid to ask but that's my job... What is going on?

Caller: She goes into a tale, rattling off as fast as she can about some Sheriff in some county has a chip (as in micro chip) in her hand and the military has a chip in her head , and how they keep "f"ing with her mind and she has a fever of 106 in her body and they wont leave her along....and her kids are there and she's afraid for them....but then she says her kids keep "f"ing with her mind, too and she is just sick of it. She rattles on about the "chips" in her hand and head again.....knowing that kids are in the house is now my big concern because I don't know what she might do, 'the butter has obviously slid off her pancake'

Me: I dispatch one of my officers over there and he talks to her. He ends up transporting her to the hospital but they cant do anything for her. She doesn't have any family in town but he does find one friend who says she will try to help her out. Shortly after she is at her friends she takes off with the kids. The officers drive around town and try to find her.
About 3am this morning she shows up at the PD without her kids. She says she left them at a friends house but can't remember his last name or where he lives. We transport her to the hospital and then back to her house.
I guess one of the officers talked to her mother but she doesn't want anything to do with the her and neither does the rest of the family. So whats left are innocent children that we don't know where they are and nobody cares. Pisses me off!!