Designated Driver

The whole point of a designated driver is to avoid the defective judgement of those that have been drinking. So why in the world would a designated driver ask the impaired passenger for driving directions? Yes, this is another 'Here's Your Sign' moment....
Last Thursday Mom and Grandma came to visit. Part of Mom's Christmas present for the boys was a promise to take them to a Reds game this summer. So, Friday afternoon Mom, Grandma, Josh, Caleb, Chuck and I went to Cincinnati to enjoy the Reds play a game... *note* I am an Atlanta Braves fan first...
When we got to the ball park we drive around the stadium trying to find a good place to drop off Mom and Grandma so they wouldn't have to walk very far. We found an area to drop them off that was close to our seats. The Attendant advised us that we could pick them up there as well.
In Grandam's 93 years this was her first MLB game. It was a gorgeous day and a great game. With Chuck being on the fire department he doesn't drink very often... you never know when the pager will go off and someone is in need of help ...Since we were out of town and away from the pager Chuck decided to have a few drinks. No big deal, I can drive home.... At least I thought I could....
We left before the game was over so we could avoid traffic congestion. Mom and Josh took Grandma down to the pick up point. Caleb, Chuck and I went to get the van. Normally I have no problem getting out of the parking area and on the road to home, but I had to drive around the stadium.
We got to the pick up point but we were on the side of the wrong side. There was no place to park and Mom and Grandma would have to cross traffic to get to us. Normally we could turn down the divided lane, turn around, and come back up the road running along side the stadium, but that road was blocked off..... there are a lot of one way streets around the stadium and due to traffic control, the cops had half the streets blocked off....
So in my confusion I asked Chuck which way I should go. "I don't know," he says, "Go that way" (pointing to the right) So I veer toward the right. ACK!! I am now going across the bridge into Kentucky. "I don't want to go to Kentucky!" I gasp. "So do a U-turn," Chuck replies. I roll my eyes at him, "I can't do a U-turn in the middle of a bridge!!" ...what are ya, Drunk?...
Now I must pause here to state that I absolutely HATE being lost and not know where I am going.
I get to the end of the bridge and the road forks off. I don't know what road I am on and I don't know where either of these roads will take me. There is no traffic coming... except a motorcycle at a high rate of speed... so I do a U-turn. The motorcycle had plenty of room but lays on the horn at me.... Ah, blow it our your nose... My level of anxiousness is beginning to increase. Chuck comments about me being grouchy. I snap back at him, "I'm not grouchy. I just don't like being lost!" He just laughs at me.
We pull up to a red light. Mom and Grandma are only one block away from us. I just need to turn left, but there is a police barricade preventing me from doing so. There is a Deputy posted at this light to direct traffic but he has his back to me talking to some pedestrians. So again I make the mistake of asking Chuck what I should do. "Just turn. There aren't any cars there," he says. "There's a Sheriffs car blocking the road. I can't go through there!" Chuck is some what amused by my increasing blood pressure... I'm so glad my stress can provide him some humor...
The light is still red. The cop is still standing with his back to me. I have no idea where the road in front of me leads. I need to get ONE block to my left..... and there are no cars coming from the other direction.... The light turns green, along with a green arrow pointing 'LEFT'.... just the direction I want to go. So I turn....
I avert around the posted police cruiser and get in the correct lane. A swirl of reflective police wands wave at me from up ahead. Here comes the lucky Deputy....
Deputy Mustache walks up to the car. Before he can utter one syllable, my mouth begins to run 100 mph trying to explain that "...myGrandmaisjustrightthereandIneedtopickherup..." Without much facial expression he says, "You. Just. Ran. Through. A. Police. Barricade!" With a deep breath I begin, "YesbutmyGrandmaisrightthere. TheofficerovertherehadhisbacktomeandIdidn'tknowwhichwaytogo. Ijustneedtogetrightthere.."
The Deputy's lips twitch, his mustache hides his growing amusement. I am still rambling on and I finish with, "...I'm a police dispatcher. Please don't kill me!" Finally his face cracks, "I am standing here laughing at you. Does it look like I am gonna kill you? All you had to do was go up third street and come back around to here." (he motions to the street where the cop had his back to me and then to the street I was now facing).... I thought to myself, "well do you think if I knew that, I would have turned left back there??...
I take a deep breath and sigh, "Ok, so what do you suggest I do from this point, right here?" Laughing, Deputy Mustache says, "Well, my Lieutenant is standing right there..." Then it dawns on me and I interrupt him, "You guys thought you had yourselves a drunk didn't you?" Still laughing at me, "Well, yeah. That was mentioned." He continues on, "I gonna walk back over there (pointing to his original post) and when this traffic clears, I am gonna let you turn left so you can pick up your Grandma." I apologize for my traffic violation and thank him sincerely.
As I roll up my window, Chuck and Caleb laugh out loud. I laugh to, thinking about the 'laugh' those cops are having on my behalf. On the way home Chuck says, "Well, I guess I can't drink at Reds games anymore." I smirk, "Why? We made it through and are on our way home!".... and provided a good laugh for everyone...