My First Real Crush Part 1

I was playing with Suzie the other night and something she said reminded me of a song. I began to sing the song to her as we played. It dawned on me that during one of my out of control moments with i Tunes, I bought the song. I gleefully jumped up and ran to get my i Pod. I laid down on my bed and cranked up the volume....

Whoa whoa, Yeah yeah. I love you more than I can. I love you twice as much tomorrow. Whoa whoa, love you more than I can say.....

The tune floated me back to a land far, far away. My imagination swirled with memories of the past. So young and innocent. So carefree and ....hmmm, whats the word? Oh yeah, STUPID.

Growing up I went to a small Christian school. We only had a couple a dozen students from 1 thru 12. I was about, mmm, maybe 8 or 9... yeah, I know. pretty young for a crush.... when a new boy enrolled in our school. Mmmm Boy, I thought he was the cutest thing since baby kittens.... uh smitten I was, I tell ya....

My friend, who was two years older than me and incredibly boy crazy, convinced me to send him a card for Valentines day.... what a dork I was. I would flip if my 9 year old daughter sent a boy a card like this.... The front of the card had a cartoon alligator calling across the desert. On the inside it said "I am desperate for you love".... Ooh Hooo Hooo, what a fool I made of myself. My face still turns red thinking about that.....

Rumor was that he had a girlfriend in Texas..... Texas??? we lived in Florida. That's quite a distance to carry on a prepubescent romance... Oh yeah, did I mention that this boy was 3 years older than me. That's right. I was 9 and he was 13..... don't even think about it. Gracie or Suzie cuz it aint gonna happen.... Oh, and Mom, if you're reading this don't feel bad. The only people that knew I had a crush on him was, uhmmmm, everyone in the school....

The years went by and I was denied any hand holding with the object of my affections. Not to mention we had a "6 inch" rule at my school, so even if he returned my feelings, I still couldn't hold his hand.... how can life be so cruel??

I remember every field trip hoping I would be in his "group", but you know how teachers are. They don't give any regard to a girls emotions. No. They had to be logical about this. We were divided into groups by age and gender. And since I was 3 years younger and of opposite gender, we were never in the same group... I just couldn't get a break....

We did attend some of the same 'after-school' activities... Oh there is a God.... But unfortunately I was never anything other than Joel and Pete's little sister.... stupid brothers.... But then again, I probably wouldn't have been at these after school activities if it wasn't for these 'stupid brothers'.... so I guess they were good for something. even if they did torment me with FROGS!

Over the next several years I gave up on the "crush" part of our relationship. I settled for just being his friend. Being such a small school, everyone knew everyone. We were all good friends, hung out, and had a lot of laughs. It was like a big family.

Then came the last day of school. His senior year. I would never see him again, or so I thought.....