Stupidity is not a crime

A few months ago I got this 911 call
Caller: Ring
Me: 911, what is your emergency?
Caller: (out of breath and barely understandable) Yes, can you send someone out here.
Me: (not sure where "here" is) Ok sir, where are you and whats the problem? (cuz you never ask for their address. They will tell you their home address when they may actually be 10 miles from home. Alot of good that will do :)
Caller: (still hard to understand) I'm...I'm at ##-address-. (and something about a bush and the fire department)
Me: (did he say bush?) Sir, You need the fire department?
Caller: (frantic and in a high pitch screech) Oh! Oh, my Kitten is stuck under a bush!
Me: (I'm lost for words as my mind trys to compute this. Is there some other emergency here that I am just not understaning? Is this hysterical man really asking me to send someone to help him get a Kitten out of a tree??? How cliche is that?) Sir, are you telling me you have a cat stuck in a bush?
Caller: (in real tizzy now) Oh, oh you have to help her. Oh, what am I gonna do?
Me: (still in disbelief at this call) Sir, can't you just reach down and grab her?
Caller: Oh no. Oh, I weigh 400 lbs, I can't get down on the ground. Oh dear, she's just a little kitten. Can you send someone to get her out?
Me: (now the mental image of this large man with his high pitch girly squeal is almost enought to push me over the edge of laughter. Professionalism, I tell myself) Sir, how about putting some cat food next to the bush. I'm sure the cat will come out.
Caller: Oh, no. She's just a little kitten. I've never let her outside. Oh can you send the fire department?
Me: (what is this, the 1950's?) Sir, I can't tone out an entire fire department to get your cat.
(the real irony is that the Fire Chief hates cats)
the call goes on for a little bit more, I contemplate sending the on duty Officer, but eventually end the call. A few minutes later the phone rings again and it's the same guy. He is much calmer and I can hear his tears of joy. His little kitten came out from under the bush.