Not my given birth name, but the name I became entitled with the day I gave birth to my first child. "Mom".
Seriously.... and I know that all the mothers out there will agree ...the house is hot-wired to my butt. The second I sit an alarm goes off and it sounds like this, "MOM! MOM! MOM!" There are sensors in all the chairs that are specifically set to determine my 'cheeks' from any other 'cheeks' that may rest there.
I intentionally sit on the side of the couch that gives me the easiest access to any room that has alarm activation. Once I am up and take care any/and all 'alarm' situations I go to the kitchen and stand. I find myself leaning on the counter, watching tv from there.....Why? Because if I continue to stand the 'alarm' doesn't get activated.
.....I walked in the kitchen last night and told Chuck that I am changing my name. I will no longer be known as "Mom". For what ever reason Gracie must have said my name a thousand times yesterday.... after the first 500 it began to sound like fingernails on a blackboard ... Not too long after I made this comment to Chuck, Caleb walked in the house and said, "Hey Mom...." I replied with, "She left"
Seriously.... and I know that all the mothers out there will agree ...the house is hot-wired to my butt. The second I sit an alarm goes off and it sounds like this, "MOM! MOM! MOM!" There are sensors in all the chairs that are specifically set to determine my 'cheeks' from any other 'cheeks' that may rest there.
I intentionally sit on the side of the couch that gives me the easiest access to any room that has alarm activation. Once I am up and take care any/and all 'alarm' situations I go to the kitchen and stand. I find myself leaning on the counter, watching tv from there.....Why? Because if I continue to stand the 'alarm' doesn't get activated.
.....I walked in the kitchen last night and told Chuck that I am changing my name. I will no longer be known as "Mom". For what ever reason Gracie must have said my name a thousand times yesterday.... after the first 500 it began to sound like fingernails on a blackboard ... Not too long after I made this comment to Chuck, Caleb walked in the house and said, "Hey Mom...." I replied with, "She left"
4 comments:
LOL! My mom used to tell me (and I've since repeated it to my kids on occasion) "I'm changing my name to a cuss word SO YOU CAN'T CALL ME!!"
OH holy COW! TOo funny! You're right!
Saw a bumper sticker today at the dr.s office that kinda fits...
SOME DAYS ALL I WANT IS TO BE A MISSING PERSON
This is one of the funniest posts I've ever read! I just checked it out from the link you put on your post today. Thanks for sharing!
This is hysterical and completely accurate. My kids are the same way. I think I try to change my name at least once a week!
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