Missing Dad

I was over at farmgirls catching up on her blog. Her dad posted a comment and referred to her as 'hun'.... Dad used to call me that sometimes.... reading his comment to her I could almost hear Dad's voice.... My mind wondered, just imagining what Dad might have commented on some of my posts... He would have enjoyed reading our blogs...

Then I read Will's blog this morning and he talked about his mom and dad. I thought, "Wow, I haven't seen them in a long time.".... well, actually I saw them at Dad's funeral....
I'll catch myself driving home some days and have this urge to call Dad because I haven't talked to him in a while.... I can hear his voice, "Hey Bek, whacha doin'?"

It's a strange sensation to miss someone so much, yet their presence so real.... I close my eyes and I see him, hear him, smell him.....

Caleb wanted to look at some of my pictures the other day so I drug out my huge, heavy, awkward tub full of pictures. We came across one of my favorite pictures of Dad and Caleb. Caleb was about 3 or 4, they were holding hands walking down the beach together. But even still, looking at pictures of Dad doesn't make me miss him all that much. It's when I come across something that he would say or do, or if I smell something that reminds me of him.... Watching the wind blow through the leaves on a tree makes me miss Dad more than seeing a picture of him... reading about a father calling his daughter 'hun' makes me miss him...


Writing this reminded me of something else I wrote a while back. I went to my journal to look for it and I came across this....

Summer of 2000 Josh, Caleb, and Papaw playing at St George Island. Josh was sitting in the water letting the waves crash over his head. With each wave Josh giggled in pure delight. Caleb, on the other hand, didn't like the waves at all. Papaw sat in the water just along the shore and called to Caleb. Caleb was too afraid of the waves and wouldn't go to Papaw. After some coaxing from Papaw, Caleb ran into the water. His eyes were wide with terror, his mouth open but made no sound. Caleb's arms were outstretched and as he neared Papaw he locked his arms around Papaw's neck and held on for dear life. Caleb hit Papaw with such intent that he almost knocked Papaw over.
Caleb decided that he would like it much better if he and Papaw were out of the water. Down the shore they walked, little grandson holding onto his Papaw's hand. The sight of them walking away from me is an image I will never forget. It was a moment precious and few.